Today I have had a lot on my mind. Actually a lot of them were questions. As I walked down the street at Hollywood, hung out with someone new at the park, drank a soda and coffee at McDonalds, I thought about things. During the week I did a special post about a reflection I did last time I was in Hollywood. I never dreamed it was more than a reflection. Before I truly begin this blog entry I need to first say a few things about me. I would apologize for offending anyone but I can't bring myself to do that because what I am about to share will give you even more an insight on who I am as a person, and as a woman.
I have not been a Christian in many years. Before anyone condemns me to hell let me say this. When I started my transition I had to figure out what I believed. I did a lot of soul searching as well as research, just as I did when I was preparing for my transition. Christianity just didn't feel right for me, though I respect it's believes and everyone who claims the faith. I do believe in something though and that is we are all a part of nature. While some believe God is above looking down on his Children, my Gods and Goddesses are here on earth as well as the sky above and in us.
So when my higher power guides me somewhere I go and my trips to Hollywood is one of those things. I love watching people and being around people at times. Sometimes it helps me stay grounded to be among those in my community that struggles on a daily bases. That wonder each day where they are going to shower, eat, get money for their vises, and even wash clothes. I realized today that I say I am a transgender advocate, but what does that mean?
I have seen many in the community that are advocates and they have good jobs at places that are resources to the lgbt communities. More so the gbt communities and not even all of the t communities. Once they get these jobs, do they continue being a peer to each other in the community or does it become a numbers game of "how many people can we help this quarter"? This is where my questions come in.
We spend so much time talking about HIV and getting tested which is very important and everyone should do it, but what about housing? We talk about the woman of transgender experience being in relationships a bad thing when they are on the streets but there is not much else turn to. What makes it even worse is the fact that the poor guys who like us face just as much stigma from society that not only do the women have low self esteem and broken spirits, so do the guys that are in relationships with us. No wonder many turns to drugs and hustling, running the streets, prostitution, and wanting to be discreet so they can see their children and the mother of those children don't call them gay. I say this because I used drugs for that same reason, and I have dated men that face the same things I mentioned.
Now it seems like I get passed over when a guy likes me for someone that is as broken spirit as them and I have to wonder if it is because they feel they don't deserve the love that I can offer now that I couldn't atone time. I was lucky when it came to coming up from homelessness. I was determined because my higher power told me that until I did better I was going to have to not lose focus. I stopped using because I wanted the body that many of the woman of transgender experience had but without the surgery.
So back to my question of what is a transgender advocate. In my mind and from what I am being shown, it is more than holding up a sign and protesting for Transgender Equality for all. It is more then educating society. It is about educating each other as well and lifting those who have low self esteem and broken spirits up. Creating better resources instead of just feeding and testing them. It is about coming up with ways to assist them with shelter, showering, and showing them that no matter who you love, and attracted to does not make you any less of a person and that they still deserve to have a family and a place to call there own. It is about so much more and we need to remember that and work on that. And last but not least, it is about being a peer showing that we are no different among each other and help each other where we can, even if it means hanging out at a park with someone and just talking.
I see my purpose even more clearer now and pray that after reading this blog entry, everyone else sees their purpose more clearly to. We have to fix our community before we can fix the rest of society. And that is my dear readers is your challenge for the week. Especially those of you that are of transgender experience.
Until next time...Stay Safe and Be Blessed
Very well said lady!
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