New Moon Reflection

     It has been a while since my last blog entry but after tonight I thought it was time to start back.  Although this is not like what you, my dear readers, have seen before, it will have the same affect as my other entries.  Of course when I started blogging it was to reflect my thoughts.  Since then of course it grew on it's on and became something to inspire, educate, and to get to know me.  

     As some are aware, I don't particularly discuss my spiritual believes that often. However, in this entry you will find that I speak some of it.  My believes are more nature based.  I don't consider myself a Wiccan and will admit to my believes being more of a pagan based.  The moon plays a huge part of my believe because if you think about it, the moon plays a huge part with the earth and is known to effect the tides, your moods, ect.

     For the last few weeks I have been going through things that I have not wanted to share.  What I will share is I am learning to stay positive during the times that I want to stress out.  I have also felt alone at time and I am sure I have not been the only one, especially in the Transgender community.  I am use to handling things on my own and so I don't ask much help.  I find though that sometimes this is not healthy.  

    As I have been going through these things the last few weeks, I have been learning who my true friends are and my true community is.  I have had surprises because some of the ones I expected to be there wasn't and those that I didn't expect was.  This does not mean anything bad but quite the opposite.  I am having to rely on my gut so to speak.  I am honored to have facebook and have been given advise, as well as things to think about.  I have even been shown things that I needed to see though posts that friends have posted.  The funny thing is, I don't know if they realize just how much their posts have helped me.

     The universe and my patron deity I work with on a daily bases has shown me I am not alone in the world and that things are not as they seem.  So tonight after almost giving into my stress, I decided to go to the roof of my building and reflect under the new moon.  If I closed my eyes, I could feel the energy within me.  While this was going on the beating of the energy reminded me of a drum being banged on.  Yes, I realize that I am not alone because I have the blood of my ancestors, who had to be strong and brave when moving from the country they are from to come to the United States.

 " The New Moon is a time of new beginnings, hope, faith and optimism."~ Jasmeine Moonsong

During my reflection under the new moon, I visualized and felt what I needed to take place.  I have good things coming my way.  I have faith in that knowledge.  I know that I am about to get a phone call in regards to a job that I will work and receive an income while I also work on my free time with someone with whom I will start a non-profit organization.  I will also assist with rebuilding the transgender community that has been torn down from within itself and society.  I see the need more then ever for such a community and realize I am a warrior and what I went through has made me a stronger person.

So, I encourage each and every one of you that read this entry to think about this.  When you feel stress is knocking at your door.  Do not allow it in.  Instead, be grateful, happy, and stay positive and have faith in the goodness of what you believe in.  Do as I do and reflect when there is a need.  Be it praying to a higher power or just acknowledging what needs to be acknowledge.

Until next time.....Be Safe and Be blessed.

To Know Thyself

This week I was going to post an entry about privileges because it was brought up interesting feedback after I posted something on Facebook.  However, the more I think about it, I don't think I am going to as I am not sure what to think or how to approach it.  I will in time tackle the subject but not today.  Today I feel the need to post something else and that is the importance of getting to know yourself.

When I was younger and after I moved out of my mom's house, I got in relationships because I wanted validation and to be loved. I could not stand to be by myself so I would get roommates when I was not in relationships and that didn't last long either because of the type of people I allowed in my life.  Then after I started my transition, I started realizing the guys where no good but that is what I liked because they accepted me, or so I thought.  I just could not understand why they would disappear from me, cheat on me, or even leave me for someone else.

I fell in love in my last relationship but now thinking back, I was the only one.  I thought he loved me because we where together for four years, but now I wonder if he didn't just love me because I had my own place, I paid the bills, and I didn't do drugs so there where more for him.  When I kicked him out, I was a mess for a long time.  I moved to Texas where because I was so hurt I focused on other things but was still unhappy.  I moved around part to help a friend with his mother and another part to figure out where I belonged.  With my ex gone, there was something missing or so I thought.

It wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles before I realized that there was nothing missing.  It was there and I just needed to start a journey inwards to see it.  I had to figure out who I was and learn to love myself to be happy.  I have also learned that our spiritual journey travels almost parallel to inner journey because there are many things I need assistance with.

I see a lot of people in this world that are not happy with themselves and they do as I did.  Try to find the happiness and love from other things and people.  Getting in relationships and then wondering why those relationships don't work out.  Wondering why they attract a certain type of man or woman.  Thinking they are not pretty and no matter how hard they try they never will be not realizing beauty comes from within.  Perhaps that will be the topic of my next entry even though it does tie into this one.

I also head once that when we love ourselves we attract a different type of attention.  I don't believe that saying.  Since I have been working on me and getting to love me, I have realized what I like or dislike.  What I will tolerate or no,t and my self worth.  I still attract the same type of men but have noticed I am attracting other types as well and I because of knowing myself I am able to be friends with only the ones I want to and stay away or keep those not good for me at a distance.  I may be single at the moment but I am happy and I know if I am patient, my prince charming will come.

We as woman with transgender experience need to stop trying to get validation from guys or others.  We need to get validation from ourselves and we also need to realize that we or not the only ones that get treated bad by guys.  They treat all women bad regardless of the woman being with transgender experience or not.  Instead of focusing on them, we should focus on us.  We transition thinking about the women we want to be but not getting to know that woman that is inside of you.  We need to not only get to know ourselves and love ourselves but we need to "own it".  Which means my dear readers especially those with transgender experience.  We need to own the power we have within us.  When doing that we can find happiness, and love for ourselves as well as create change. Then as we do this the love and beauty will show on the outside and others that are good for us can start to love us.

So as I end this entry my dear readers, your challenge for the week is to think about what it means to be you.  Who are you? What are your likes, your dislikes?  Be honest with your answers.  Until next time.....Be Safe and Be Blessed.

Women with Transgender Experience

This past week has got me doing a lot of thinking about my experiences as a woman with transgender experience.  One thing I know for sure is I am grateful for the experience even though at the time I wondered why I was going through the difficulties.  I realize that now that those difficulties has passed, I am stronger and more focused.  It helps for me to see Role models starting to tell their stories as well because I always say, we all have a story to tell.  Mine is about my life as a Woman with Transgender Experience.

There has been many times, I have thought about how I want to make a difference and make my mark in the world.  It wasn't really until I moved to LA that I realized just how I could do that.  I figured out that I could do this by sharing my experience to those who read my blogs as well as to the transgender community and any other community that wants to get to know what it is like for me.  I also know that by showing support and that we can all be something if we put our mind to it.

A week ago I had a realization that I found truly mind boggling.  Why is it we hardly see any other Caucasian women of transgender experience?  Is it because many feel they need to fit in to be accepted and either blend in or to ashamed to come out during the day?  Why is it harder for those of color to be accepted after their transition?  It sickens me when I turn on the television and they have a news story about someone that is of transgender experience and it is not positive.  I guess that is why I am so grateful for those like Lavern Cox and Janet Mock.  They bring out the positive stories involving those of transgender experience and of color.

The thing about me though is I don't see the color of the skin.  I have learned a lot from my communities even though I haven't really thought about it until now.  Is this because I am actually growing?  Because I have been taking the time to focus on me, my spirituality, and my career?  I really have had some great experiences and they where not all bad.  For instance, I am learning to being confident in myself and not to worry about what I might think my voice sounds like.  I am not worried about what others think of me but what I think of myself.

These are the things I want to give back to all communities including the transgender community.  Who better to help other women with transgender experience then a woman of transgender experience.  It is for this reason, we should stick together and build allies so that we can become resources within ourselves.  I guess my dear readers the challenge for this week would be to look at your experiences.  For those of you that are not of transgender experience but socialize with someone who is, what have they taught you?  For those readers that are with transgender experience, how have your experiences helped you?  What can you pass to others that are just starting on their transitional journey?

Until next time.......Be Safe and Be Blessed

Being A Mom

With this still being the month of May and with Mothers day just passing.  I thought I would play catch up tonight and do this blog entry first since I am a week behind.  It has been on my mind a lot these last few weeks and to my devoted readers I apologize and I will do my best not to let it happen again.

Mothers day is a special time for all mothers because their children thank them for being there for them.  There may be many that believe that a mother can only be someone who has or raises a child.  My thoughts are different though.  I believe it is something more, something deeper then that.  When I was growing up, I use to have a friend who I joked and said his mom was also my mom.  I actually had to moms like that.  I also remember my mom claiming my friends as well.  I have even seen this with my sister and her friends.  So it get's me to thinking about what a mother truly is.

Susan Diranian, a writer for various online publications and magazines, specializing in relationships, health, fashion, beauty and fitness says,
  "The meaning of being a mother is virtually endless. A mother is a protector, disciplinarian and friend. A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, most rewarding job a woman will ever experience."

When looking up the definition of mother, I found this quote instead and find it very fitting.  In my childhood and that of my siblings we had more then one mother.  What Susan says makes a lot of sense to me because I myself have someone I call my child because I feel as if I can help her they way a mother can.  Not to mention, there are many single parents these days that have to be both the father and mother.  This is not mentioning those who because of being transgender had to find a mother figure elsewhere because their own mother didn't accept them becoming who they truly are.

Being a mother can be a special thing and I agree that even though we thank mothers everyday for being in our lives, we have one day to truly celebrate them being their for us.  It took me a long time to understand that but then again, I didn't really understand what a mother really was.  Perhaps I didn't understand just now when I found Susan's article.  I think the saddest thing to realize is society tries to define what a woman is and what a mother is but as I said in previous posts, the world is not as black and white as one wants to believe.

In order for anyone to grow, and that includes me, we must understand that being a woman and being a mother goes beyond what we may think we know about such matters.  Learning to accept the that there is more to being a woman then what is between her legs and being a mother is someone more then just a female who gives birth or raises a child, then the growth will begin.  Instead of fearing change, we should accept it.

For all my readers that are mothers, I want to take this time to say happy belated mothers day and thank you for all that you do for your children.  Even though mothers day is done past I encourage you my readers to call and wish your mother whom ever she may be, Happy Belated Mothers day and thank them for being their.

Until next time....Be Safe and Be Blessed.

Reference:

Being a Mother, Susan Diranian (2013, Aug. 16) http://www.livestrong.com/article/536701-the-meaning-of-being-a-mother/

Being Who We Are

I know it has been a few weeks since my last entry and I have had a lot of things on my mine.  Last week I went to a support group where a question was given to us to think about and give the answer tomorrow.  Even though the question called for me to define a woman, I decided to think upon that and perhaps even go deeper.

When we are born we are pronounced a certain gender because of what is between our legs.  But nature has shown us that it is not black or white.  I have known a few men and women who where born with both.  I have seen male dogs with nipples that should only be seen on females.  So the question is, does what is between a persons legs make the gender?  If so what would we consider those born with both?

I have also heard that being able to bare children makes a woman who she is.  How is this true if there are so many woman out there that can not have children for what ever reason?  Does this mean that a woman who cannot bare children is not a woman and because of this cannot be a mother?  Men have lost out on relationships with me because of this very fact.

When will we realize that sometimes closing the door on someone's happiness is not hurting that person as much as it is hurting us as human beings.  In my opinion, it does not matter what a person has between his or her legs.  After much research and experiencing different types of individuals, I have realized that it is how a person feels and identifies as.  It can even go as far as how they present themselves.

I type this blog to get to you to think about this next time you are out running errands, or what have you.  If you see a girl wearing a dress that is transgender, I challenge you to go up to her and talk to her.  Give her some encouragement.  I ask for you to be respectful.  We as society need to quit overthinking things.  Especially when it comes to transgender women and men.  I am just like any other woman.  I may not can have children but I can adopt.  It is time to show that it is ok to be who we are.

Until next time....Stay safe and Be Blessed.

The Power Of "No"

For the last few weeks I have had many ideas for a topic but I have realized during this time that the hardest word for many of us to hear or say is the word "NO".  I have in the past have had the hardest time saying this because I didn't want to be a bad person and wanting to be liked.  Now though, I realize that saying "NO" is sometimes necessary when it comes to our spiritual, mental, and physical growth.  Hearing the word "NO" can be just as important as saying it.

When I was growing up if I heard the word "NO", I would get upset and throw a tantrum.  I am sure many have and when I see children get told this word by their parents or any other figure with authority, I have seen the same reaction.  Now that I am older I realize that this word was told not to punish us, but because to keep us from getting or doing something we didn't need to do or to protect us.  If we listen to our inner selves when we are about to get into a situation not good for us, we will hear that same word, "NO".  You will see that even though we feel this is a negative response, it does not have to be.

The same goes when we say this as well.  As I mentioned, this is one word that has always been hard for me to say.  Because of this, I have been used, abused, and took advantage of.  No matter what happened, I refused to see the word as anything that could help me and continued to get harmed.  Since I have been working on getting to know myself I have realized that saying the word "NO" gives you strength.  It sets boundaries even.  If something does not feel right, this is your way out.  The great thing is, you don't even have to give an explanation.

Since I have learned this, "NO" has been getting easier for me to say.  I have had to use this word a few times and I encourage you my readers to do the same.  Listen to the inner voice the next time you are in a situation that does not feel right.  Don't be afraid to say "NO" as well, especially in a unhealthy relationship.  This word can save you from a lot of problems down the line if used in the right context.  Remember "NO" can be a positive word and it does have power.  Because of this, in return you gain power.

Until next time....Stay Safe and Be Blessed

The Ugly Duckling Part Two

Last week I posted one of my favorite fables and tonight I reread it because I wanted to reflect on it this week.  So I am about to do just that.  I am sure many of us can relate to the ugly duckling.  I know I can relate.  I am not saying that I was an ugly child but I did feel as if I didn't belong.  I always felt different and would wonder why I couldn't hang out with the girls or even wonder why I had to be born in the body I was born in.  Like the ugly duckling, I left because I was unhappy.  I tried different life styles and suffered the ridicule of others.  It was not until I found out what Transgender meant and after doing the research that I new what I had to do.  That of course being, me leaving everything I knew and everyone I loved for me to figure things out to be happy.

I thought when I started my transition, was the time I started becoming a Swan, as the ugly duckling did.  However, as I think on it now, the changed didn't happen then.  It happened when I came to Los Angeles.  It is here, where I am learning who I truly am and just how strong of a woman I really am.  I found my passion, my desires, my purpose.  I have allowed my family and old friends back in my life as well as made a new family and friends.  I now swim with the other beautiful swans and know I AM beautiful too.

This gets me to thinking about the transgender community.  Our stories are not the same but are similar.  We all had to struggle with who we are, as the ugly duckling did.  We started working to become the beautiful swan.  The question is though do many recognize themselves changing or does it happens when we least suspect it, as it did for me?  The way I see it, we look at others and say, "I want to look like that" or "I want to act like that person does" but we end up still not being true to ourselves.  Transitioning to have our bodies match or spirit is only part of the journey.  The other part is getting to know our spirits so that after we transition, our physical, mental, and spirit all live in harmony and we are happy.

It is easy to lose focus I know.  However, what would the ugly duckling have done if he didn't find his focus in the story and kept eating his meals until he became fat?  I can not speak for the men with transgender experience, but as a woman with transgender experience, I lost focus by getting into relationships that where not good for me.  For me, I have always wanted to be loved and accepted.  I didn't consider the cost would me not knowing just what a wonderful person I am and I deserve more then what I was allowing myself to have.

So my challenge for the week to those who read this, especially those of transgender experience.  Ask yourself if you really know yourself.  What are your likes and dislikes?  What is your passion?  Are you where you want to be in life?  Can you look in the mirror and see the beautiful swan that you are and recognize yourself?  After all we have to be truthful with ourselves.  Some of you may can answer this with ease, while others not so much.  It is all a part of growth as well as transformation and change.

Until next time be safe and be blessed...

The Ugly Duckling Part One

 Once upon a time down on an old farm, lived a duck family, and Mother Duck had been sitting on a clutch of new eggs. One nice morning, the eggs hatched and out popped six chirpy ducklings. But one egg was bigger than the rest, and it didn't hatch. Mother Duck couldn't recall laying that seventh egg. How did it get there? TOCK! TOCK! The little prisoner was pecking inside his shell. 
 
   "Did I count the eggs wrongly?" Mother Duck wondered. But before she had time to think about it, the last egg finally hatched. A strange looking duckling with gray feathers that should have been yellow gazed at a worried mother. The ducklings grew quickly, but Mother Duck had a secret worry. 
 
   "I can't understand how this ugly duckling can be one of mine!" she said to herself, shaking her head as she looked at her last born. Well, the gray duckling certainly wasn't pretty, and since he ate far more than his brothers, he was outgrowing them. As the days went by, the poor ugly duckling became more and more unhappy. His brothers didn't want to play with him, he was so 
clumsy, and all the farmyard folks simply laughed at him. He felt sad and lonely, while Mother Duck did her best to console him. 
 
   "Poor little ugly duckling!" she would say. "Why are you so different from the others?" And the ugly duckling felt worse than ever. He secretly wept at night. He felt nobody wanted him. 
 
   "Nobody loves me, they all tease me! Why am I different from my brothers?" 
 
   Then one day, at sunrise, he ran away from the farmyard. He stopped at a pond and began to question all the other birds. "Do you know of any ducklings with gray feathers like mine?" But everyone shook their heads in scorn. 
 
   "We don't know anyone as ugly as you." The ugly duckling did not lose heart, however, and kept on making inquiries. He went to another pond, where a pair of large geese gave him the same answer to his question. What's more, they warned him: "Don't stay here! Go away! It's dangerous. There are men with guns around here!" The duckling was sorry he had ever left the farmyard. 
 
   Then one day, his travels took him near an old countrywoman's cottage. Thinking he was a stray goose, she caught him. 
 
   "I'll put this in a hutch. I hope it's a female and lays plenty of eggs!" said the old woman, whose eyesight was poor. But the ugly duckling laid not a single egg. The hen kept frightening him. 
 
   "Just wait! If you don't lay eggs, the old woman will wring your neck and pop you into the pot!" And the cat chipped in: "Hee! Hee! I hope the woman cooks you, then I can gnaw at your bones!" The poor ugly duckling was so scared that he lost his appetite, though the old woman kept stuffing him with food and grumbling: "If you won't lay eggs, at least hurry up and  get plump!" 
 
   "Oh, dear me!" moaned the now terrified duckling. "I'll die of fright first! And I did so hope someone would love me!" 
 
   Then one night, finding the hutch door ajar, he escaped. Once again he was all alone. He fled as far away as he could, and at dawn, he found himself in a thick bed of reeds. "If nobody wants me, I'll hid here forever." There was plenty a food, and the duckling began to feel a little happier, though he was lonely. One day at sunrise, he saw a flight of beautiful birds wing overhead. White, with long slender necks, yellow beaks and large wings, they were migrating south. 
 
   "If only I could look like them, just for a day!" said the duckling, admiringly. Winter came and the water in the reed bed froze. The poor duckling left home to seek food in the snow. He dropped exhausted to the ground, but a farmer found him and put him in his big jacket pocket. 
 
   "I'll take him home to my children. They'll look after him. Poor thing, he's frozen!" The duckling was showered with kindly care at the farmer's house. In this way, the ugly duckling was able to survive the bitterly cold winter. 
 
   However, by springtime, he had grown so big that the farmer decided: "I'll set him free by the pond!" That was when the duckling saw himself mirrored in the water. 
 
   "Goodness! How I've changed! I hardly recognize myself!" The flight of swans winged north again and glided on to the pond. When the duckling saw them, he realized he was one of their kind, and soon made friends. 
 
   "We're swans like you!" they said, warmly. "Where have you been hiding?" 
 
   "It's a long story," replied the young swan, still astounded. Now, he swam majestically with his fellow swans. One day, he heard children on the river bank exclaim: "Look at that young swan! He's the finest of them all!" 
 
   And he almost burst with happiness.

The End

Authors note: This is the fable of the Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen.  Stay tune for part two where I will give my thoughts and views on this story.

The Importance of Friends and Support

There are times I post poems.  There are times I post quotes.  This blog entry however, will not have either.  This is going to be even more heartfelt then usual because I had something happen tonight that touched my heart and made me think even more about what someone mentioned for a topic.

In the past...

I have spent time homeless and am very grateful to have friends and family that where there for me.  Even though I may have kept quit during the time that I was living in shelters and on the street, I knew that I could pick up a phone and call or text my family and friends. If I wasn't able to do that, I was able to go to the library and get on Facebook or email someone.  It wasn't until I got a job that I realized what my purpose was and it wasn't until I got into recovery for addiction that I realized just what I needed to do to reach my purpose.

Some homeless individuals don't have that support because of many different reasons.  Drugs, bad circumstances, poor choices, and being gay, lesbian, or transgender.  Being of transgender experience myself, I feel we have it especially hard.  I am not saying anyone else has it any easier, but when being of transgender experience you have to deal with being misgendered by others that are homeless as well as organizations.  We also have to deal with alienation from others. 

Now...

I have a place and even more support because of recovery and attending support groups by the few organizations that are here in Los Angeles that provides services for the transgender community.  When I first got into recovery, it was because I was depressed and started to feel as if I was alone, so I had thoughts of going back into the time of drugs.  After being mugged, I realized I had to do something different.  Once in recovery, I was able to focus on myself and get to know me and my worth.

Don't get me wrong, not everyone needs recovery to figure out who they are.  But everyone needs support of some sort.  I had this lady today asked me for money.  What made it bad was she called me brother and when I snapped at her and corrected her, she seemed like she was going to cry as she apologized.  It touched my heart.  Did she truly not mean it?  I am not sure but it made me think of the importance for educating those who speak before they think and that usually deal with someone of transgender experience.  This could be family, friends, or even those that deal with the public.  Perhaps, this would be the start of someone's support system.

When I was in Texas I had a blog like this one and I posted an entry where I spoke about it takes a village (see "It takes a whole village to raise a child?").  Maybe that is what we need to do now.  Maybe giving support to someone with experience will make you a part of their village.  If you dear readers don't understand something, ask but be respectful when doing so.  Everyone's transition is personal, so if they don't answer, please don't get mad.  If you are of transgender experience don't get defensive, answer what you feel comfortable answering and if you don't, let them know that you are not comfortable answering their question.  We as woman of transgender experience and even if their are men of transgender experience need to support each other as well. 

If you get anything from this entry, it should be that we need to change our way of thinking and become supportive of each other.  Life is hard, especially for us that are transgender.  Sometimes we need our friends and supporters because we all need someone to turn to at time.  I know I did and sometimes still do and this is why I dedicate this blog entry to them.

Until next time.....Be safe and be blessed.

Realizations

  I know it has been awhile since my last entry and I have been told by a dear friend of mine that if I am going to do this blog, I need to do it and quite being so sporadic.  She continued to tell me that I do a good job, I just need to be more consistent.  As you all know, I only had a smartphone for a while and was homeless, making posting difficult.  Now I have a keyboard and tablet so now we can do what I have been wanting to do for a while and that is make this a weekly blog.   Without farther interruption, here we go.

" I am a trans woman. My sisters are trans women. We are not secrets. We are not shameful. We are worthy of respect, desire, and love. As there are many kinds of women, there are many kinds of men, and many men desire many kinds of women, trans women are amongst these women. And let’s be clear: Trans women are women." ~Janet Mock, author of Redefining Realness

There has been so much going on since I last posted.  I am off the streets and in my own place, I had a job that I got laid off from, and I figured out what I want to do as for my career.  Change is good and one must realize that change and growth both come from focusing and getting to know yourself.  Part of that means getting to know your self worth.  This is what I have been doing during my absence.

When I seen the quote from Janet Mock, I knew it had became my favorite quote because it makes women like me take back our power as the Goddesses we are and shows the world that we are just like any other woman and deserve to be treated as such.  The more I focus on myself the more I realize that I deserve more than having a guy tell me they want to party with me at my place or the first thing that comes out of their mouth is asking me what I like to do sexually.  In the last few months though, since I have decided to do things differently then I have done in the past, I have met men that like me because they see me as a woman. 

I may not be ready to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship yet, but I do know that I am worthy of going on dates and hanging out with guy friends.  I also deserve the respect of other women as well.  Not just me but all women of transgender experience, especially when it comes to pageants, and other social events.  We need to stop with the Bulling, the secrecy, and the prejudges that consume us when we do not understand something.  We should educate ourselves and if that means changing our believes and value so be it.  Sometimes hanging on to old believes and values can be dangerous and not allow us to grow.

Belief + Value = Behavior

I had someone tell me that this is considered a life equation.  I can see how it is true and can fit it into many aspects of m life.  For instance, at one time I believed you had to live a certain way to have a happy life.  As a result, I had low self esteem.  So my behavior became reckless.  I started using drugs, became very sexual, and got into relationships with the guys whose only ambitions was to get high on drugs.

One of the things I had to do was change my belief.  Now I believe I do not need to live a certain way to have a happy life as long as I am not hurting anyone or anything.  So now, I place a high value on myself and this means that I consider myself a someone who is important even if it is just to me.  As a result, I am in recovery, taking my hormones, as prescribed by a doctor, being responsible, and surrounding my self with better people as well as hang out with guys that are about getting themselves together.  I may not be ready to be anyone's girlfriend are wife just yet but I am well on my way.

Perhaps if more society took this equation into consideration, change would happen in this world.  However, to the readers of this blog, it can start with you.  To the women of transgender experience, remember what Janet Mock said, we are worthy of respect, desire, and love.  Don't be a secret anymore.

Until next time....Be Blessed and Be Safe